I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
