hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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