Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
