Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
