I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
