'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
