YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Ladies don't puke and tell
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
