I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
