his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
OPIZZABONMYDICK
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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