discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
