it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
