I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
