the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
