There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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