i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
