i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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