the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
All the doctor said was why
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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