id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
