I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
