The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
