summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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