We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
