Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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