Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
id be glad to
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
