Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
