Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
