dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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