Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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