...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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