went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
That reminds me...we need to get swords
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
