i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
