i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize