guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
