direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize