At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
