my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
is wine microwaveable?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
