I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
