Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
