I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
