my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
