Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
