FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
