she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I came so hard my ears popped.
please don't ironically join a cult
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