oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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