This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
