A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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