I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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