Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
