When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
