so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
