I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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