so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
