i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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