yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
