Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just invented taco cereal.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
