all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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