Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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