And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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