look no pants
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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