his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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